How to Make People Like You Instantly

Key Concepts

  • Value of Making Others Feel Important: The desire to feel important is a profound, fundamental human need. Fulfilling this need for others can lead to positive interactions and strengthened relationships.

  • Genuine Compliments as a Tool: Offering genuine compliments and showing sincere appreciation can significantly elevate a person's mood and positively affect their self-perception. This technique is effective in both personal and professional contexts.

  • Historical and Philosophical Support: The principle to make others feel important is supported by various historical and philosophical teachings, emphasizing its timeless and universal appeal.

Practical Advice

  • Express Sincere Appreciation: Insightful appreciation involves noticing and commenting on qualities or possessions of others that are truly admirable. This can transform routine interactions into moments of meaningful connection.

  • Show Recognition Publicly: Publicly acknowledging someone's importance or contribution can significantly boost their morale and reinforce their commitment to their role or relationship.

  • Tailored Interactions: Adapt your compliments and recognition to be relevant and specific to the individual, ensuring that the appreciation is heartfelt and personal.

Examples from the Chapter

  1. Interaction with a Post Office Clerk: By complimenting a clerk's head of hair, the clerk became noticeably happier and more conversational, demonstrating the immediate positive impact of a genuine compliment.

  2. Handling Resignation with Appreciation: A restaurant owner prevented a key employee's resignation by sincerely expressing her importance to the restaurant, which not only retained the employee but strengthened her loyalty and commitment.

  3. George Eastman and James Adamson's Friendship: A casual compliment about office aesthetics led to a prolonged conversation, lunch invitation, and a strong business relationship, showcasing how recognizing and discussing someone's interests can open doors to significant opportunities.

Principle to Follow

  • Principle 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely. This approach fosters positive interactions and can lead to lasting relationships and fulfilling exchanges.