The Big Secret of Dealing With People

Key Concepts

• The Desire to be Important: The fundamental motivation in human behavior is the desire to be important or feel significant. This need is so powerful that it shapes actions and behaviors across various aspects of life, from personal achievements to social interactions.

• Examples from History and Society: Various historical figures sought recognition in complex ways. For instance, people like Abraham Lincoln and Charles Dickens were driven by a need for significance that propelled them to achieve notable impacts in their fields. Similarly, those in less legitimate paths, such as criminals, often seek importance through notoriety.

• Impacts on Personal and Professional Relationships: Recognizing and appreciating others' desire for importance can vastly improve interpersonal interactions, from personal relationships to professional environments. For instance, Charles Schwab's management success was attributed significantly to his ability to make his employees feel valued and important.

Practical Advice

• Leveraging Appreciation in Leadership: Effective leaders, like Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller, excelled by expressing genuine appreciation for their peers and subordinates. By understanding and nurturing their employees' need for importance, they fostered environments of loyalty and high performance.

• The Consequences of Neglecting Appreciation: A lack of appreciation can lead to dissatisfaction and can diminish effectiveness in professional settings. In personal contexts, it can strain relationships and even lead some to extreme measures for recognition, such as feigning illnesses.

Principle to Follow

• Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation. This approach not only satisfies the fundamental human need for significance but also builds stronger, more cooperative relationships.